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Archive for the ‘ramble’ Category

i started this blog as a form of super cheap therapy. i figured that if i were obligated to check in once or twice a week with something ANYTHING then i could stay… if not sane then at least focused. on something. other then naval gazing and negative thinking and giving myself over to entropy that is.

welp i took a little break to indulge myself being that the dog was sick and i was sad and then suddenly i was also sick and then the dog got feeling better but i was stuck on “wallow” because of that damned inertia and lookit that i’ve not checked in in a while. so lets remedy this.

Update #1: Lang-dog is doing great tymv

So sometime last weekend i think (i dont remember) his nose stopped bleeding and while that may be a bad sign in the long run it was the one thing holding him back from regular old, ‘in your face’, borderline annoying lang so I think he can now be considered “good as new”.

Except for the room clearing gas he’s developed either because of the meds or the super calorie dense food we’ve got him on to try to gain back his weight.  it’s seriously the most obnoxious stuff ever made even MORE disconcerting by the fact that from a few rooms away it smells like someone’s heating up leftover beef stew. 😐

Update #2: Cooking stuff

I made granola yesterday.  It’s freaking good and hella cheap.  Then I made the mistake of looking up some nutritional information and about crapped myself.

It’s still good.

Update #3: Growing stuff

My arugula is coming up as are my peas.  in your FACE doubters who said i couldnt plant anything in february!  I don’t know that anyone actually sais that but I know for sure that I was thinking it.

Because I am always pushing my luck today I planted some chard and broccoli and spinach.

Also I found out the lovely flowering thing in my backyard is a flowering quince.

Also Also i found im growing something else but im going to wait till my mom comes to visit to talk about it EVEN THOUGH im pretty sure my mom doesnt read my blog anyway EVEN THOUGH i have sent her the link and i know shes not got anything better to do now that shes retired (this is a trap).

Update #4: Miscellaney

final fantasy XIII comes out on tuesday im pretending i dont even care but i know i am going to the game store that afternoon aaaaand i hate myself for that just a little bit.

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i’ve been putting off writing this for a long time but i feel like i should get it done so its out there so i can think about other stuff like taking care of day to day shit.  which to be honest is really getting hard since im pretty depressed about this whole thing which is to be expected i guess but its weird how it just sorta hit me all the sudden the other day that: hey yeah thats weird how ive been sleeping all the time and eating nothing but garbage and cant stay interested in anything at all so i sit and stare at reddit or message boards all day and wasnt i doing better than this just a few weeks ago??

Lang’s got cancer.  we got the biopsy results a week ago and its malignant.  i dont remember what the vet called the kind of tumor he has but its supposedly really aggressive and the prognosis (while variable) is about 3 months.  The outlook for dogs with nosebleeds is generally worse.  We might be able to buy another month or so and keep him comfortable with a chemotherapy drug and an anti-inflammatory but she said when they go downhill it goes really fast.  Chad’s been reading that there are dogs that live with this for years.  he’s researching all kinds of herbal remedies and calling about different possible medications.  we’ll see.

i think the worst most unfair part of all of this is that otherwise… other than horrible thing growing in his head that will eventually kill him (indirectly since it will almost certainly fall to me to kill him first)… otherwise he is in perfect health.  except for the nosebleed.  which stopped after the surgery but started again last weekend.

So the rugs are up again and i have found this miracle spray that removes blood from everything (i swear to god this stuff is like magic) and we got a couple baby gates to keep him contained in about half the house and now checking for blood and cleaning it up and not getting dressed for work until the exact second you walk out the door has become part of our new “normal” routine around here.

Which i know is weird.  i was telling all this to my hair cutting guy and he was just like: omg why don’t you just put him to sleep?

we had friends over last night for dinner last night and they were horrified by the blood and constant cleaning.  they didnt say anything but they looked SO uncomfortable and poor Lang was so excited to see them but we couldnt let him out of the part of the house we sectioned off and he bled everywhere and gosh even when they left through the back door they saw the whole patio out there literally looks like someone was ambushed and had their throat cut (the meter guy is probably going to call the cops on us) and seeing it through someone else’s eyes just made me think oh god oh god please i hope we are doing the right thing.

but i couldnt i can’t put him to sleep right now knowing that otherwise he is a healthy happy guy who loves treats and walks and laying on the couch and taking eva to school and playing ball in the backyard and begging for scraps when i chop veggies.  when he doesnt like those things anymore then we can talk.  the vet said that eventually the tumor will grow to the point that it will constrict the nasal cavity and the nosebleeds will stop.  i dont even know what to do with that information or how to feel about that.

in the meantime its just a little blood.

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a failed attempt at cupcake decorations turned homemade valentines for eva’s third grade class.  very cute.

C. and i dont celebrate valentines day.  we’re with liz lemon (sham created by card companies to reinforce and exploit gender stereotypes).  I will instead “celebrate” the day by making mushroom barley soup and maybe a loaf of bread if i magically get SUPER motivated.  also eva’s “boyfriend” is coming over to play.  which would be annoying if i didnt find it so darn adorable.

(*awkward transition*)

things are somber around here.  as of course any dummy could have guessed, a dog with a nosebleed for 5 days straight is creeping past “not normal” into “bad fucking news” territory.

in lang-dog’s case we have found it to be a tumor in his sinus cavity back by his eye.  we dont have biopsy results yet but regardless of the results theres not a whole lot to be done.

there’s also not much else to say about that.

yesterday we went to the yard garden and patio show and i was able to get the seeds im missing for this year’s garden including chantais melon which was exciting.  we also picked up a few pots of blueberries and looked at patio pavers too but honestly with dog medical bills major landscaping projects are likely on the back burner for now.   we’re also rethinking the fence we were going to run around the garden to keep out lang since well… we dont really know how permanent its going to have to be, if that doesnt sound horrifyingly morbid.

the rest of my weekend and likely the remainder of the holiday has been/will be spent lying on the couch with the big dog playing animal parade.

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eleanor wonders where da food at

so my meal plan for this week isnt any different from last week since i only really got a chance to cook twice.

instead i had to go out one night with a friend since she told me she had exciting news (engaged, quitting her job, starting her own practice AND an awesome book deal… aaaaaa!  \O_o/) then another night we had tickets to a blazer game then there was a superbowl party and girl scouts night and oh i dont know probably something else so w/e i’m just reusing everything from last week and adding on butter chicken which c. has expressed an interest in making and more power to him.

and it will be AWESOME.  btw.

(more…)

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ive not done it before and it sounds goooooooood…

I am also finishing up hat number 2 and maybe MAYBE going to sit down and look at a seed catalog and figure out what I want to plant then make a spreadsheet of when i need to plant everything and the time it takes to harvest and figure out where everything should go for staggered/succession planting because my ability to manipulate time and space really sucked last year. also i think i can start planting in february so i should do that soon.

but that sounds a bit like a lot esp for a (4 day weekend) sunday .

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