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Posts Tagged ‘bloody carpet’

i’ve been putting off writing this for a long time but i feel like i should get it done so its out there so i can think about other stuff like taking care of day to day shit.  which to be honest is really getting hard since im pretty depressed about this whole thing which is to be expected i guess but its weird how it just sorta hit me all the sudden the other day that: hey yeah thats weird how ive been sleeping all the time and eating nothing but garbage and cant stay interested in anything at all so i sit and stare at reddit or message boards all day and wasnt i doing better than this just a few weeks ago??

Lang’s got cancer.  we got the biopsy results a week ago and its malignant.  i dont remember what the vet called the kind of tumor he has but its supposedly really aggressive and the prognosis (while variable) is about 3 months.  The outlook for dogs with nosebleeds is generally worse.  We might be able to buy another month or so and keep him comfortable with a chemotherapy drug and an anti-inflammatory but she said when they go downhill it goes really fast.  Chad’s been reading that there are dogs that live with this for years.  he’s researching all kinds of herbal remedies and calling about different possible medications.  we’ll see.

i think the worst most unfair part of all of this is that otherwise… other than horrible thing growing in his head that will eventually kill him (indirectly since it will almost certainly fall to me to kill him first)… otherwise he is in perfect health.  except for the nosebleed.  which stopped after the surgery but started again last weekend.

So the rugs are up again and i have found this miracle spray that removes blood from everything (i swear to god this stuff is like magic) and we got a couple baby gates to keep him contained in about half the house and now checking for blood and cleaning it up and not getting dressed for work until the exact second you walk out the door has become part of our new “normal” routine around here.

Which i know is weird.  i was telling all this to my hair cutting guy and he was just like: omg why don’t you just put him to sleep?

we had friends over last night for dinner last night and they were horrified by the blood and constant cleaning.  they didnt say anything but they looked SO uncomfortable and poor Lang was so excited to see them but we couldnt let him out of the part of the house we sectioned off and he bled everywhere and gosh even when they left through the back door they saw the whole patio out there literally looks like someone was ambushed and had their throat cut (the meter guy is probably going to call the cops on us) and seeing it through someone else’s eyes just made me think oh god oh god please i hope we are doing the right thing.

but i couldnt i can’t put him to sleep right now knowing that otherwise he is a healthy happy guy who loves treats and walks and laying on the couch and taking eva to school and playing ball in the backyard and begging for scraps when i chop veggies.  when he doesnt like those things anymore then we can talk.  the vet said that eventually the tumor will grow to the point that it will constrict the nasal cavity and the nosebleeds will stop.  i dont even know what to do with that information or how to feel about that.

in the meantime its just a little blood.

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eleanor wonders where da food at

so my meal plan for this week isnt any different from last week since i only really got a chance to cook twice.

instead i had to go out one night with a friend since she told me she had exciting news (engaged, quitting her job, starting her own practice AND an awesome book deal… aaaaaa!  \O_o/) then another night we had tickets to a blazer game then there was a superbowl party and girl scouts night and oh i dont know probably something else so w/e i’m just reusing everything from last week and adding on butter chicken which c. has expressed an interest in making and more power to him.

and it will be AWESOME.  btw.

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